Security farce

The latest proof that we Indians take ourselves too seriously is here.

"Intercepting" ATC-pilot conversations? Seriously?

Allow me to explain. Air Traffic Control in all countries happen on VHF frequencies. There is a certain range of frequencies set aside for radio communication and navigation and this range is collectively called the "air band". All one needs to access this range of frequencies is a receiver that can tune to these frequencies. Think of the receiver as just another transistor radio, but one which can receive more frequencies than normal. The communication is by no means encrypted, nor is it classified. One can think of it as eavesdropping on a motorist asking a policeman for directions.

This communication will make no sense at all for most non-pilots, laden as it is with jargon specific to air traffic control and navigation. Even if people do understand the conversations, they are likely to find out where a particular airplane is directed to go. I don't see why that is a security threat since most commercial airplanes reach very high altitudes in a very short period of time. When they are close to the ground, they are visible anyway.

There is a very famous website (hosted in the US obviously) called LiveATC.net which streams live ATC communications from dozens of airports around the world. Many pilots (myself included) listen to communication on this once in a while to practice and learn correct phraseology. This is important since pilots are not expected to waste time when talking to ATC.

In the US, one needs a radio license only if one plans to transmit on a particular frequency. Listening is free for all. In India, one needs a radio license to listen in too. These poor Britons might find themselves in hot water for listening to their radios without a proper license. But let's get serious. That is not a security threat.

However, there is one safety aspect to this. If someone is reckless enough to interfere with communications by transmitting false instructions, there is a serious risk of confusion in the skies. Among all the thousands of aviation enthusiasts in the world, I would be surprised if anyone found more than a dozen who would be deviant enough to do something like that.

Getting a haircuts

I just returned from getting a haircut from the local Supercuts.

I walk in and this friendly middle-aged Ecuadorian lady greets me with, "Hello! Do you want haircuts today?". I reply, "Yes please, just one though". "Haha, funny guy. One haircuts for you".

I put my name on the list and sit down to wait my turn. There's a family there to get haircuts for their two kids; a boy and a girl. The girl seems to mentally challenged (or is it "special" now?) and needs to be held down in the chair by the mother while the female barber trims her hair.

The aforementioned Ecuadorian (I know she is one because she told me on a previous visit) gets done with the boy and asks me to take the chair. As usual, I mutter, "Number 4 on the sides and scissors on top". She gets started.

I'm not very chatty when getting a haircut despite the valiant attempts at conversation from barbers. I just don't feel like adding to their distraction when their scissors are snipping close to my ears. She finishes up the right side of my head and then asks me, "You wanted a number 3 right?". WHAT?

Number 3 is shorter than number 4 and I didn't want it that short. I tell her, "No! I wanted a number 4". She coolly says, "OK" and proceeds to switch the thingy on the thingy to a number 4 and starts to clip the left side.

At this time I'm contemplating the new look that is clearly going to become the vogue at my office - different length haircuts on different sides of my head. I shake it off and tell her as calmly as I can, "Can you please make it a 3 all around?".

"OK" she says, and that was the end of the adventure. Thankfully.